Someone asked me the other day if my (barely) five-year-old daughter believed in Santa Claus any more. YES! They asked when I thought she would stop believing. HOPEFULLY NEVER. My little one is so full of joy and light and imagination – the happiness and innocence of being a child. She has the mindset that anything can happen. I hope that even when the realities of life set in- even when she is old enough to figure out what is real and what is not- that she continues to believe in things outside of what she can see and touch.
Emers turned five just two weeks ago. She is growing so quickly. She plays hard, works hard and sleeps hard. I can watch her imagination run wild; it is like turning pages in a picture book. With this birthday, Em was old enough to look forward to it, to talk about it and plan for it. Five is a big year. Kindergarten is just around the corner. We had a conference at her preschool this week and got a glowing review; something that you expect in preschool, but it nice to hear, regardless. “Emers is social and curious and likes to explore and experiment. She is kind. She is a leader.” All things a mom could just explode in happiness over. She is becoming the little person we have been raising her to become. All the hard work is paying off.
Emer’s hit another milestone this week. She came home with her first loose tooth; something that to a five year old is about as exciting as Christmas. She wiggled it and wiggled it until that little sucker flicked right out on it’s own at dinner. As I was not with her when it happened, I received pictures and a Facetime call with giddy shrieks and a smile that held the tiniest little gap in the middle of her bottom front teeth. The tooth fairy came, and that spark of light and imagination fired up once again. She believes.
I am watching my child move through these big benchmark moments in life and I take a look at my own. Our family dynamic has changed completely, and I am ok. My studio is started, and it is succeeding. I am rounding the corner on 30 and I feel generally calm about it. I have two degrees, I am doing what I love and I have the best little kiddo I can imagine. I have goals and dreams that I continue to work towards, and I am checking things off my lists regularly. Over all things are good.
I can learn a lot from my daughter. She is smart and concerned but hopeful all at once. When bumps come up she responds quickly, not bothered at all, with “I don’t matter”. (It’s too cute for me to correct her to say “IT doesn’t matter”.) This short response – It Doesn’t Matter – is one we can all learn a little bit from. It isn’t to say that things in life shouldn’t matter or that something can’t be important to you. It is just to say that when looking at the big picture, all the day-to-day choices don’t really matter so much. Situations will get better, things can be fixed, life will move on. We all make mistakes. We are all growing.
Emerlyn attempts to pour a glass of water from one cup to the next and spills it everywhere… it doesn’t matter. We clean it up and we move on. I lose a student and freak out about finances for a minute… it doesn’t matter. I get a new student and move on. The point is to keep my eye on the bigger picture- the bigger goals- and hit the benchmarks along the way. We never stop growing and we never stop evolving, but some of us lose sight of the magic and we stop believing. Make it a goal today to believe in something- even just for the day. Believe in something outside of yourself. Put yourself out there, make a wish, daydream… and at the end of the day, the outcome doesn’t really matter. What matters is how you get to where you’re going.
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